Most parents keep a cognitive approach towards raising their kids. Usually everyone's childhood goes by listening and abiding to parents. A phase where we bond with parents and siblings instantaneously.
We take our parents word for everything. Pleasing them is astronomically important one. Parents made the rules and kids accepted or conceded to those. By doing so we lived upto their expectations.
When adolescence kicks in most of us magically start to trust our peeps more than family. It is a phase of life with thriving memories and stories to rant. At the same time it is also a very vulnerable age that could make or break one's future. They say "A good friend knows all your stories but a bestfriend has lived them with you" (and so did mine). We slowly start to be more defiant than accepting to the boundaries that our parents expect us to grow up in. We either lower their expectations on us or we show them what our expectations are.
I grew up with no aspirations (unlike my sisters). I did not know how to understand my strength(s) and ability(s). But what helped me was to identify between good and bad that my parents taught me. They made us understand the value of time, money and education. They also taught us what was right and what was wrong. But I always had a different take on what they thought was wrong. Most of those cases were when there was no viable explanation or reasoning behind why its wrong.
By early adulthood it seems like we know more than what our parents did. What used to be wrong in their generation is not necessarily still the same way. The minute you start to vocalize your thoughts, you have shattered their expectations. But you must be living up to someones; whose expectations - your very own or your friends or the current youth society ?
With each growing years we learn many things some from our very own experience, some from the experience of others and a few via the wise notes from people whom we love and respect.
I most emphatically agree that parenting skills have changed over time. What I like about (I do dislike a few too) this generation parenting is the fact that parents are more open and willing to learn from their kids as well. Our kids teach us many things in the most inconspicuous way. Having said that parents have also altered their expectations too. I am mindful about not using the word lowered instead of altered. As a matter of fact expectations has only gone higher due to immense competitiveness. But the parameters to express, communicate and achieve those are more congenial, effective and liberal than what it used to be in my time.
PS: I am not trivializing the yester parenting years in any way. We all turned out to be great and we owe it to our parents But I do feel this is better.
Just a funny pic from my collection.
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