Life And Death Decision

An excerpt from a true story.

"Whatever you decide, I'll accept your decision and support it" were her husbands words before he left on a 2 day work related trip. He owned a startup medical business and she was a stay at home mom with 2 kids.

It wasn't a peaceful night when she had put her 2 daughters (ages 5 and 4) to sleep. Her heart was pounding like a jackhammer and her mind was racing with a million thoughts. She knew the business wasn't going well. The financial crunch was plaguing her thoughts.  With zilch savings left, the concern about future was a persistent part of their daily reality.  As a mom and as a women her main aim was to give good education for her daughters hoping that would help the kids to be self sufficient when they grow up. But they lacked the wherewithal to pay even for the basic needs.

Amidst all this she wasn't ready to foist another human into their already penniless world. They hadn't planned for this at all. She believed it would be doing injustice to the newborn having it brought into this world and not being able to provide. It is out of their means to financially welcome and support a baby at that time and impossible to create a better future with the already constrained finances.

The instability in not knowing where their next paycheck is going to come from fogged her cognitive way of thinking. She dishearteningly suggested the way to terminate her pregnancy. The couple deliberated over it. But her indecisive husband after all give her the liberty (read responsibility) to make the decision on both their behalf, when he said "Whatever you decide, I'll accept your decision and support it".

It wasn't making this process any easier for her.  Her conscience kept voicing the right and wrong. They came from a religious family where killing life even at it's inception is considered repugnant in the books of karma, and to attempt one knowingly is unforgivable. She was torn, on one hand she definitely didn't want this crisis to trickle down on her kids, on the other hand her ethics and morals were fighting to triumph over her wrong doings.

The following morning, with a heavy heart and swelled eyes she requested her neighbor to watch her kids while she dragged her foot to the clinic by herself. She half heartedly registers her name. She waited there to be called among all other women who have come for the same purpose but with different reasons. She was agitated and perturbed with her still unsettled thoughts. As the nurse shout out her name, her resentful mind disabled her to move forward. She then says it out loud - "I can't do this" and then barged out of the clinic with an outburst of tear and never looked back.

She survived all odds and today that child is a lovable sister, a wonderful friend to many,  a caring wife, and most of all  a darling daughter.

                                    ***************************************

I was once having a discussion with my fellow colleagues in our lunch room about kids. At that time, I was only a couple of years into my marriage. During the discussion I casually mentioned that we (I and my husband) would want to go for only one kid and our decision to have another will greatly depend upon a lot of factors existing at that time of life like age, mental willingness, physical ability and equally important financial stability. One of the lady was shocked to hear that why one would weigh in finance as a criteria. She showed her discontent for my way of thinking and analysing and reasoning. I know it's hard for some people especially if they are never in shortage of money supply.

I am not here to scrutinize and pass judgement on if I support or oppose the act of abortion. It is definitely subjective to rationality that goes behind the decision to terminate. As much as I insist on factoring on finances before planning a pregnancy, I surely won't negotiate my future with that, had I already conceived (accidentally).

What do you think?

*image courtesy - shutterstock.com

All About Me Colby and Casey

Dear Readers, 

Today I want to share with you a story handwritten (approx 5 pages front and back) by my 7 year old.

I won't lie, but it took a lot of nudging and nagging (from me) in completing this story. But I do applaud his willingness to pen down his thoughts.

With some tips, suggestion, pointers and help (proof-read and edited by me) from mommy (me), this true story has now taken a shape for you to read.

I am so proud to host this guest post on behalf of my son. Hope you are touched by it as much as we are.

I have always wanted a pet especially a dog. My mom and dad said we can't have a dog as a pet. I met Colby and Casey when we moved to our new home in spring last year. Colby and Casey are my neighbor's dogs. Colby and Casey are sisters. I was so happy and I thought that our neighbors dogs were my pets.

My neighbors names are Lynn and Bruce. I have only asked Lynn what I should call her. She said I can call her anything I want. But I want to call her grandma. I was very happy when she said that.

 I go to their house mostly on Saturday's or Sunday's to play with Colby and Casey. Sometimes I take them out for a walk. I play chase with them. I enjoy playing with them.

Lynn and Bruce have 2 cats too. I don't know their names. The cats always stay upstairs. I don't even see them when I go to their house to play with Colby and Casey.

One time Lynn and Bruce went out for a weekend. They left the dogs and cats at home. Lynn asked me if I could take care of the dogs. I immediately said yes. While they were gone  I was incharge of the dogs.
I went with my dad to their house to give the dogs clean water. I gave the dogs their dinner. I gave them treats. I played with them. When Lynn and Bruce came back they were very happy that I took good care of Colby and Casey. They gave me 20$ for doing a good job.

Colby and Casey are my best friends. I have fun playing with them. When I went to their house on a weekend to play with them Lynn said she has bad news. She said Colby has cancer and she has to be put down and said that she is going to pick up Colby on June 24th. She asked if I want to come, but pappa said "No".

I thought that put down mean's someone will lift Colby up and put her down. And she can't be touched at all because she is sick. But my mom and dad later explained to me that Colby is dead. Because she was in a lot of pain, because of cancer the doctor put her to sleep for ever. So that she will not be in pain and in cancer for too long.

I was sad and I didn't want this to happen. I reacted crying - "I am never going to see her again, I am never going to see her again.". I lost one of my best friends. Colby is now in heaven and she is not in pain.Colby is taken care by God.

Casey will never see her sister again. Now I am the one that has to be her best friend forever and cheer her up. From now on it is going to be "All About Me and Casey". Colby will watch us from heaven.

Coincidence, Confused, Condolence

It’s human to show an instant connection (at least momentarily) with someone who shares the same name as yours or with someone who has the same DOB as yours. I once met a girl on my every day train ride during my last year of high school (junior college). She had the same name as I do, she too was a south Indian and she was an Arien too .  We went to the same high school (though she was a junior by a year). We board the train from the same station since we lived in the same town (Dombivli).

It’s not that we met every day or took the same train. So, our acquaintance stayed confined to train meetings. Soon we got to know a little more about each other. She had this carefree attitude, very bold personality and above average intelligence, smart talker and jovial too. When she was there along, the 1hr ride never felt that way. She always had something interesting/funny to talk about. Sometimes her sister (I believe older sister) Sandhya would travel along. Sandhya was slightly different. She didn't talk much. She always made sure she had makeup, her hair neatly done, stylish clothes. On the other hand, Vidya looked like she just woke up from the bed and came. But there was something about her that was attractive though.

As I moved onto my college (we eventually were in the same college too), we lost touch. Once in a while we might spot each other in college campus and stop by to say a quick hi and moved on.

During my college days I also got enrolled in a 3 year computer course (GNIIT) at NIIT. I took this course at a center that was about mid-way (30 min away) from the place I lived and from my college. I could write a book about my days at NIIT. But I made a lot of friends and acquaintances there since I seemed to spend more time at NIIT than my college. I took a 6 months break from NIIT since I needed to focus on my final year exams at college. So, I completely stopped going to the center and then wasn't in touch with many of my classmates, friends.

One evening I received a rather intriguing phone call and incidentally I picked up the phone. The caller at the other end failed to identify himself. He first asked – Is this Vidhya? I said yes and the response from the other side was – OMG, so you are still alive and the phone got disconnected. I have no idea till date who the caller was. It didn't bother me much but I kept wondering.

That day I might have received at least 10 such blank calls. Some would at least care to say hello and some would just disconnect after hearing the voice. My parents thought some guy was purposely pranking with blank calls.

The next day in one of a local newspaper that was in circulation we read a headline news that a girl committed suicide who jumped from the top of a 5 storied building. She was found dead (from the fall) from a building that was a block away from the NIIT center that I attended. The newspaper also had the girl’s name, age and the town of her residence revealed. I think you can guess now, the newspaper read “19 year old Vidya a resident Dombivli-ite……”.  

For readers it was too much of a co-incidence (name, age, place of residence) and the fact that the location of incident was at a proximity to the same NIIT center that I was attending. It was then easy to connect the dots between the blank calls and this incident. For the next week we received calls from a lot of people (especially fellow NIIT-ians) with a hesitation in their voice to probably offer condolence. I would then tell them, I am very much alive.

But to me the startling discovery was (one of my other friend who tagged along with us in our train commute mentioned) that it was the same Vidya whom I travelled with during my high school days. It was the same carefree, bold, strong minded girl. I would have never imagined for her to take such a stupid (sorry for the word) step. I always saw her as a person who was courageous enough to face any situation and not bail out by taking her own life. Or does one need more courage to take their own life than to live? Perhaps I underestimated the fact that being bold can go either ways.  I am still in denial that it was her and if it is indeed her, it still bothers me to the core that it probably was not a suicide!

~There is always a lack of good reason behind every suicide attempted or committed.

Almost Lost A Part Of Me In Pisa (Italy)

Where I almost lost a part of me!

When we reached Pisa, I couldn't believe my eyes (not for the architecture). The place was populated with tourist. Not complaining about the crowd at all, I loved the hustle bustle. We knew we won't be able to get to the top of the tower looking at how densely it was occupied. Besides they let go only handful of people at a time.

We decided to stay on the ground take pictures, probably look inside the Cathedral (queue everywhere though). We had a medium size carry on trolley bag with few necessities (and valuables) along with us. I started taking pictures pronto. After a few pics here and there, it started to get cloudy. My then 5 year old got more crankier as it started to drizzle and the fact that we did not have an umbrella.

We were pressing for time and the raindrops just worsened it. I couldn't take my camera out. We came this far not to just go back. So I and my husband decided to split up. While I wait under a meager shelter with my son and trolley bag, my husband would go check out the place and be back in 10-15min and then I will take my turn next. We did not have cell phones to connect so we had to stick to the spot where we were until my husband returned.

As my husband was leaving my son's tantrums got even worse and it also started to rain a bit more. I was struggling to calm him down and also had to take care of the bag which had our passports and tickets for further journey. I decided to stealthily open the bag and thought of giving my son a snack to calm him down.  By the time I opened my bag and got the snack and turned around, I see my son no where.....I drew a blank for a sec not knowing what to do...My bag was still open....I couldn't see my son....I start to panic and started to shout out his name. I hastily closed my suitcase half way and ran out dragging the trolley bag hoping to find my son amongst this monstrous crowd. I was blaming myself for what had happened and was so shocked that my tears froze.

While I was chasing around (outside) the cathedral, I saw my husband running in a direction, we were quite far off to hear each other but could see each other. He spotted my son actually and seeing him alone he rushed to fetch him before he lost sight of our son again. In a couple of minutes walked out of the cathedral holding my son (who was crying heavily).

As soon as we were united my husband didn't ask me anything. He could see my plight and knew what might have happened. He hugged me and I started to cry like a baby, choked up unable to explain how this all happened. My son saw me cry and hugged me and tried to calm me down.

Here is what happened: For some (miraculous) reason my husband decided to come back half way after we thought of the divide and conquer plan. Had he not been walking back, he wouldn't have seen our son wandering away.

We had 10min left  where I took 5 min to take as much pictures as I want and the other 5 min for choosing the souvenirs.

A happy shot of us before leaving Pisa

I asked my husband later after as to what made him come back halfway? He said he wasn't feeling comfortable leaving us alone that day. Considering the fact that we have done this divide and conquer approach many many times before I could only thank the force of god that made him feel uncomfortable just that day.

2 yrs later now my son has no recollection of this incident. It gives me goose bumps even today thinking what would have happened otherwise.  Nonetheless it was a gratifying moment. Even though we cross our "t"'s and dot our "i"'s, we never know what could go wrong in a split second. 

In memory of all those kids who have wandered away.

A Near Hapless Event From Our Trip To Milan (Italy)

Our landing in Milan did not start on a great note. Sadly our luggages did not come through. Airport officials said they would send the luggage when they arrive. It was expected to be turned in by 7:00 or 8:00pm. So we headed to our hotel which was far away from airport (closer to city center Milan).

Thoughtfully we had one set of day and night clothes packed in our hand luggages each. So we set out to troll the road.

We were back by 8:15pm around to the hotel. We wanted to get some rest and rejuvenate our body for our next day's long trip planned for us. We were leaving Italy the following morning for Switzerland (by train). When we reached our hotel we were told by concierge that there was no delivery of luggage! We called the airport and found that our luggage did arrive but they won't be delivered until the next morning. But that wasn't good enough for us.

Italy is known for pickpockets, purse snatcher lurking around. Fearing to get out at wee hours due to the black alley stories that we have been warned about, we were in a dilemma what we want to do. We did not had our cell phones activated on roaming, so there was no way I could contact my husband while he is on the road (although he could call from paid phone when possible). With a  sleepy, cranky 4 yr old it wasn't advisable to set out altogether. So, eventually we agreed that I would stay back in the hotel with my son and my husband would hunt down for the luggage. Despite his fatigue he still carried on. It was 9:00 pm at night. We estimated it will take my husband about 2 to 2.5hrs to be back.

I caught up with some sleep for couple of hours but by 11:00 pm I was tossing in the bed anxiously. My mind was all on alert to hear the phone ring. Around 11:15pm my husband called from airport and said he got the luggage which was a huge relief. Now the next gruelling phase was until he reaches back the hotel safely. It should have taken him just about 45min to an hour to reach back. He wasn't back by then and so I started to fret praying for his safety. How can I describe those 3 hours - Here is an analogy: Have you ever seen the tension brewing in the NASA station when they have manned rocket mission that loses the radar briefly while entering the earth's surface and that they are in a total blackout phase until the rocket ship made contact again!

Finally I heard the knock on the door that I wanted to hear. When he arrived he smelt of bird poop. Unfortunately he had a close call with the bad boys on the streets.

In his narration: After he picked up the bags from the airport, he had to figure out the transportation connections to reach back hotel. It was already late and frequencies of transportations were slowing down. He took 2 buses and 2 subways to get back to the hotel (instead of just one bus ride and one subway from airport that originally we took).
At every stop and subway he was biting through his nails to get onboard the train/bus and be safe. He had a sigh of relief when he got out of the last train and started to walk out of the station dragging our 2 huge luggage and one duffle bag around. Our hotel was just a block across the train station.

It was pitch dark outside, possibly more due to the wide spread trees outside of the train station. Suddenly he noticed a couple of thugs approaching him from a little away. (I am sure he stood no chance in front of them). Right ahead on his way there were these passel of pigeons on the ground and they started to fly up hearing the luggage drag noise on the cobble stones. This helped him to turn around and lug the baggages towards a bunch of folks waiting to cross the road.

Thank god to those pigeons that swarmed the air like bees impeding the thugs. He has never been so happier being drenched in bird poop! 

PS: Please be extra careful when you are on a trip (especially when you are on an overseas trip). Hold on to your passports and all valuables (including your kids).