August 5, 2014

Life And Death Decision

An excerpt from a true story.

"Whatever you decide, I'll accept your decision and support it" were her husbands words before he left on a 2 day work related trip. He owned a startup medical business and she was a stay at home mom with 2 kids.

It wasn't a peaceful night when she had put her 2 daughters (ages 5 and 4) to sleep. Her heart was pounding like a jackhammer and her mind was racing with a million thoughts. She knew the business wasn't going well. The financial crunch was plaguing her thoughts.  With zilch savings left, the concern about future was a persistent part of their daily reality.  As a mom and as a women her main aim was to give good education for her daughters hoping that would help the kids to be self sufficient when they grow up. But they lacked the wherewithal to pay even for the basic needs.

Amidst all this she wasn't ready to foist another human into their already penniless world. They hadn't planned for this at all. She believed it would be doing injustice to the newborn having it brought into this world and not being able to provide. It is out of their means to financially welcome and support a baby at that time and impossible to create a better future with the already constrained finances.

The instability in not knowing where their next paycheck is going to come from fogged her cognitive way of thinking. She dishearteningly suggested the way to terminate her pregnancy. The couple deliberated over it. But her indecisive husband after all give her the liberty (read responsibility) to make the decision on both their behalf, when he said "Whatever you decide, I'll accept your decision and support it".

It wasn't making this process any easier for her.  Her conscience kept voicing the right and wrong. They came from a religious family where killing life even at it's inception is considered repugnant in the books of karma, and to attempt one knowingly is unforgivable. She was torn, on one hand she definitely didn't want this crisis to trickle down on her kids, on the other hand her ethics and morals were fighting to triumph over her wrong doings.

The following morning, with a heavy heart and swelled eyes she requested her neighbor to watch her kids while she dragged her foot to the clinic by herself. She half heartedly registers her name. She waited there to be called among all other women who have come for the same purpose but with different reasons. She was agitated and perturbed with her still unsettled thoughts. As the nurse shout out her name, her resentful mind disabled her to move forward. She then says it out loud - "I can't do this" and then barged out of the clinic with an outburst of tear and never looked back.

She survived all odds and today that child is a lovable sister, a wonderful friend to many,  a caring wife, and most of all  a darling daughter.


I was once having a discussion with my fellow colleagues in our lunch room about kids. At that time, I was only a couple of years into my marriage. During the discussion I casually mentioned that we (I and my husband) would want to go for only one kid and our decision to have another will greatly depend upon a lot of factors existing at that time of life like age, mental willingness, physical ability and equally important financial stability. One of the lady was shocked to hear that why one would weigh in finance as a criteria. She showed her discontent for my way of thinking and analysing and reasoning. I know it's hard for some people especially if they are never in shortage of money supply.

I am not here to scrutinize and pass judgement on if I support or oppose the act of abortion. It is definitely subjective to rationality that goes behind the decision to terminate. As much as I insist on factoring on finances before planning a pregnancy, I surely won't negotiate my future with that, had I already conceived (accidentally).

What do you think?

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